We're pregnant!!! After years of treatments and years of adoption out of the blue we got pregnant. This is the full story, for those of you who care. :)
In November we went on a cruise with my family. I was sick the entire time even though I had a sea sickness patch and was taking my mom's oral medication as well. After we got off the boat in Florida I still didn't feel well. We had a HORRIBLE flight back with lots of turbulence and drama and I thought I was still sick that night when we got home because of that. The next day I had my mom sub because I still didn't feel well. By the end of the night (this was a Tuesday) I thought I was dying because everyone who was on the cruise was A-OK except for me. Before calling the doctor to schedule an appointment to see what was horribly wrong with me I called Mike and very sheepishly asked him to pick up a pregnancy test on the way home. Telling him that I didn't think I really was but wanted to rule it out before I called to schedule an appointment with my doctor. When he got home I took the test. It was pretty late and night and when I took the test the result was positive. If you've ever seen a pregnancy test one line means not pregnant and 2 lines no matter how dark or light means your pregnant. My second line was very light, but after reading the instructions 3 or 4 times I was convinced that I was pregnant (in the years of infertility I learned that you get the best reading first thing in the morning). I was in the bathroom for 30 minutes when Mike walked by to see if I was OK. I showed him the test with tears brimming in my eyes and his reply was classic "The second line seems pretty light. I think we should do a blood test before we get excited." and then he walked away. I stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes absorbing what I knew to be true as a flood of emotions rushed through my body. I was excited and mad and terrified at the same time. Excited that after waiting so long for a positive pregnancy test and finally getting one, mad because I thought we were meant to adopt and this wasn't what was supposed to happen (I will address this emotion later so you don't think I am completely horrible), and terrified because I hadn't mentally prepared myself to actually be pregnant and all the loveliness that my friends and family members ensured me would ensue.
The next morning I took the second test in the box and the line was darker. This just affirmed what I already knew. I showed Mike and again, classic response "I'll believe it when I see it." Now do not think that my husband is horrible and that he wasn't excited. We have gotten our hopes up in the past just to have them crushed so I didn't blame him for wanting to be sure. Later that day I called my doctors office to set up an appointment to get my blood taken. They told me that if I had gotten a positive test that I was pregnant and there wasn't any need for a blood test. I told her that we still wanted one and she told me to just stop in at the ER and they would take my blood there. That night we went in and got my blood taken. They took my blood and 10 minutes later gave us a paper that said POSITIVE! We both couldn't believe everything that was happening. We had been talking with a birth mother about adopting her twin boys who were due in March. We loved her and things were looking good. We thought this was how our family was going to begin. Heavenly Father knew better and knew her boys were meant for another couple and that some of our own were on their way. Mike was so happy but disappointed because he so wanted twins.
I called in a set up my appointment and on December 18th we went in to see them for the first time. My cycles are long so they thought I was two weeks further along. We met with my nurse practitioner and we talked for a long time before she sent us down to the imaging center on the floor below. She told us that after we had the ultrasound we could leave unless something was wrong or we were having twins, and then she laughed. We went down to the imaging center and were let into a room. The lab tech tried the external ultrasound first (which never has worked on me) and for the briefest of moments we saw a glimpse of what looked like to little blobs. I was stunned and wondered if I was the only one who saw that. She then told me that she wasn't going to be able to get a good enough look and we would have to do the "other" ultrasound. She let me use the bathroom and on my way out she asked if there were any twins in our family. I WAS SHOCKED and immediately blurted out "NO!" before I left the room. I walked to the restroom in a daze and as I was washing my hands thought of my brother who has twin girls and Mike's sister who had twin boys. I came back in and Mike and the lab tech were talking about the twins in our families, so she already knew I lied. We then got to see our little guys for the first time.
Pretty cute for blobs and gummy bears ;)
I left stunned. I was shaking for a good two hours. What are the chances… pretty slim I came to find out. Our twins are identical which is a crazy thing that happens in a fraction of pregnancies. They are not hereditary and are caused by one fertilized egg splitting in to two identical parts. We then went up to see my nurse practitioner again who was stunned and promised that she didn't jinx us. She then told us the high risk of miscarriage in twin pregnancies and to wait it out until 12 weeks. That is why we have waited to tell anyone. We only told close family and friends who we would have told about the miscarriage if it happened anyway.
We told both families the next week on Christmas Day. We face timed Mike's family who we sent a copy of the ultrasound to and watched them open it up. My sister-in-laws response was the best. She said "its a baby!… wait….that's Madison's name at the top…Madison's pregnant…with twins?!" Tears and joy ensued. Later that day we told my family. We had brunch at my brother's house and were hoping that everyone would be there. One brother was not able to make it, so we decided to wait until dinner. Everyone was supposed to be at my parents house at 3:00. My oldest brother fell asleep and didn't get there until the dinner was ready at 5. The second they walked in the door we sent a text message to everyone with the ultrasound picture saying "look carefully". Well at the same moment my dad started saying the blessing on the food. So in the middle of the prayer you can hear everyone's phones chiming. After the prayer my brother Miles looked at his phone and looked at me with his eyes opened and pointed to me and then to his phone. Which I nodded in response to. He then showed Kristy his phone and she came over and hugged me to which everyone got out their phone's to see what was going on. My parents, thinking they knew the secret, didn't check their phones, so when there was word of twins they were shocked.
Because having twins qualifies you as a high risk pregnancy I have to go in every two weeks, which is just fine by me. I get to see my little cuties more often and make sure they are still ok. The first trimester is so nerve wracking! You can't feel them and you have now idea how they are doing. Here are some pictures from other ultra sounds.
10 weeks. They were having a little chat sessions. They are already best buds.
13 weeks. This was the first time that I had an ultrasound on one of the portable machines and the pictures are not as nice. But we go to see them moving and bending their now fully formed legs.
Today was my 16 week appointment where I met with a specialist that only studies multiples. We were able to get a very clear shot of what their gender is. ( I don't know why all of the pictures are flipped. They look right on my computer and I don't know how to fix them.) We are so excited that we are starting our family with boys! I can't wait to meet them and I feel so honored that I get to be their mom. We have waited and prayed for this moment for so long, not to be pregnant but to be able to be parents. We prayed very long and hard before deciding to adopt and when we did we knew it was the right path. That is why I was a little angry when I first found out. We went through so much heartbreak and talked with multiple birth mothers about adopting their children. It is hard to get to know someone and open up about personal parts of your life to a complete stranger. I wondered why we had to go through all of that when we were going to end up pregnant. I pondered and prayed for days before I realized that not only did I learn and grow from our experiences but we weren't spending thousands of dollars on medical procedures. I know our Heavenly Father lives and that he loves us and has a plan for each one of us. I have been able to look back and see his hand in guiding and leading us to this point. He knew what he was doing, he asked us to be patient and have faith. During that time Mike and I grew closer as a couple and became eternal friends. He started preparing us for the huge responsibility of having twins. He knows me and knows that I am a planner and when I feel overwhelmed I get a little crazy. He was encouraging me to prepare and start thinking about my future as a mother. This pregnancy is nothing short of a miracle. The odds of getting pregnant after so many years is very slight and the odds of having identical twins is again very slight. I am so grateful to so many of you for your support and your love through everything. I have felt so blessed to have so many people praying for us and for our family. I have said many times but I truly believe that the children that enter a family are meant to be there. Our boys have been waiting for the right time to come in to our family. I know there will be hard times ahead but I am comforted to know that no matter what these two boys will be apart of our family for eternity.